


we could turn around (or we could give it up)

by moxiemorton



Series: I'm stuck in the dark (but you're my flashlight) [3]
Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-20
Updated: 2018-03-20
Packaged: 2019-04-04 23:14:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14030961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moxiemorton/pseuds/moxiemorton
Summary: Bemily Week Day 3 - love triangleBeca and Chloe are basically married already, so it's really pointless for Emily to be pining after the little weirdo, right? right???





	we could turn around (or we could give it up)

Emily isn’t one to pry.

Oh, sure, she’s a curious and inquisitive soul, endlessly alternating between asking questions and listening quietly to conversations so she can gather up every bit of information she can. She loves chatting up friendly strangers, making small talk with her neighbors, and engaging conversations with practically everyone she meets on the street. Even the woman waiting for the bus with the coldest shoulder or the frustrated janitor mopping the bakery floor eventually warm up to her after a few minutes of innocuous questions about their day or lives. When it comes to getting to know people, Emily is game for any kind of challenge.

But she also knows where to draw the line. It’s almost like a sixth sense, being able to pick up on someone’s discomfort or reluctance to share, and Emily always drops the conversation or changes the subject as soon as she feels it. It’s something she’s thankful to have been blessed with, but she assumes that it’s just a counterbalance to her endless curiosity. Her high school friends had all commented on the fact that she was the easiest person to talk to, but she had always seen that as a generic compliment. It wasn’t until they were all signing her yearbook senior year that she realized just how many people sincerely appreciated her friendliness and ability to make every conversation meaningful.

“You’re always willing to listen but never push for gossip or spread rumors,” her childhood friend, Lisa, told her as she scribbled a short message and her signature in Emily’s yearbook. “You’re like, everyone’s therapist, Em.”

She was given the “friendliest” superlative, and she figured it was a title she’d try to keep up in college.

So it’s naturally somewhat jarring to see that Barden University isn’t that easy to conquer. Maybe she had some unrealistic expectations about southern hospitality, but after growing up in a small and tight-knit Ohio town, the large Atlanta campus is clearly not somewhere Emily will be largely recognized for her upbeat attitude. Her attempts at casual conversations and polite chatter are often met with tired glares or uninterested silence.

Nonetheless, she tries.

Emily flies straight into auditioning for the Bellas, and despite being stripped of their title, they use a loophole and accepts the legacy as a new member. And she’s absolutely stoked to be a part of this legendary group, especially after their revolutionary performances that had begun just three years ago.

But Emily finds out quickly that the Bellas aren’t the easiest people to talk to. They don’t exactly stonewall her, but she can sense that they’re already a super tight group with their own shared experiences, inside jokes, and, for some reason, shared trauma. There are things she can ask about and expect an answer — “She  _threw up_  on stage? Why?” — and things she might never really understand — “Wait, why were they fighting over the trophy?” — and Emily tries her best to juggle the different kinds of information the Bellas decide to share with her.

“Oh, it’s a long story,” one of them would say sometimes. “We’ll tell you about it another time.”

And Emily knows they don’t say it to exclude her. It’s not a story she necessarily needs to know, and she loves them too much to care about the little details she’d missed.

Over time, when they move past the small talk stages of their friendships, Emily learns the boundaries of each Bella. Stacie is an open book, willing to share anything and everything. Chloe is similar, but sometimes discloses more information than Emily wants to know. Fat Amy often deflects with jokes and insults, but is more than willing to be straight with everyone. Flo is always open to talking about her life in Guatemala and shares ridiculous stories about her brother. Cynthia Rose rarely talks about herself, but she has plenty of meaningful advice and wise words for the freshmen, whether they be about music or life in general. Jessica and Ashley tend to keep to themselves, but brightly reciprocate Emily’s enthusiastic conversations.

The real mystery — aside from Lilly, who’s a mystery to everyone — is the Bella’s co-captain. Beca Mitchell.

Flitting in and out of the Bella house on a schedule that doesn’t seem to match her class schedule, Beca is somewhat of an elusive presence for Emily. The other Bellas brush it off as typical Beca behavior, joking that the captain never wants to spend time with ‘the losers’ and prefers to sneak out to secret underground rave parties and pump up the crowd behind the DJ table.

“What — the fuck, no. Don’t listen to them, Legacy.” Beca tells Emily firmly when the freshman asks about it. But then she’s changing into nice clothes and running out the door to god knows where, and Emily still has literally no part of the senior figured out.

But she can tell from the start that Beca keeps her thoughts and feelings — unless they revolve around anger, in which case she has no issue letting it loose — close to her chest. Even in the few short moments they share at Bella’s practices or at the house, Beca is either absent or sitting a few feet apart from the group, wrapped up in her own word. The only interaction she shared with others is when she’s making a sarcastic comment or inserting witty quips into other people’s arguments.

So she doesn’t pry when Beca comes home in a whirlwind of stress and anger and races straight upstairs to her room while the rest of the Bellas watch a movie in the living room.

Or when Beca rushes in late and rushes out early from Bella’s practices, barely participating in the choreo or cardio and staring pointedly at her laptop screen, running a frustrated hand through her hair every once in a while.

Or when Beca ditches a Barden a capella party night to ‘hang with Jesse,’ only for them to find out later that he had been similarly ditched.

And she  _definitely_  doesn’t pry when she finally senses the tension between Beca and Chloe.

Even if she desperately wants to know what their history is. Even if she loves talking about crushes and relationships and romance. Even if she does sort of kind of maybe perhaps have a gigantic crush on Beca.

Sometimes, when she catches the senior alone or stays behind after Bellas practices to help her pack up, Emily thinks about asking what their deal is.  _Are you guys dating? How long have you been together? Why were you guys so snappy today? Did something happen? Are you fighting? Are you okay?_

_Is there any chance that maybe you’d consider...psh, I dunno, someone who’s like, a total klutz and awkward and a bajillion times taller than you instead of that perfect beautiful redhead you’ve known and grown close to the past few years?_

(Emily knows her height is the least of her problems, but she can’t help but to think Beca’s general objection towards superiority might play a factor in rejecting the otherwise inferior freshman)

She had always known someone as cool and untouchable as Beca would never look in her direction. At least, not in that way. And she’s cool with it. Really. The two co-captains are perfect for each other in every way, even if it throws a little spike in Emily’s heart to admit that. It’s just that she really, really,  _really_ wants to know what’s actually happening between Beca and Chloe.

Call it a form of closure.

Closure that Emily’s not sure she’ll ever get, given how closed-off and distant Beca can be, and how hysterical and stressed Chloe has been. She knows that they both adore her and have absolutely nothing against her friendliness and fondness for questions, but Emily can feel through her sixth sense that this is a sensitive and somewhat volatile topic for the both of them.

So she quells her curiosity and plans to die not knowing.

But the opportunity literally falls in Emily’s lap one day when she’s studying for her Psych exam on the Bella’s couch. It’s the Thursday before spring break and since most of the senior Bellas don’t have class the next day, they decide to go out to a local club and party it up before leaving for vacation. Underage and overwhelmed, Emily stays behind, opting for the silent comfort of the empty Bellas house instead of the crowded library.

She’s practically dozing off on top of her boring textbook when she hears the door slam. Jerking awake, she scrambles into sitting position just as Beca enters the living room.

“Holy shi — crap.” She jumps a little and clutches at her heart when she sees Emily. “Sorry, I didn’t think anyone was home.”

“It’s okay. I scare myself sometimes when I pass the hallway mirror when I’m home alone,” the freshman says reassuringly, feeling like an idiot when Beca just gives her a raised eyebrow.

Before she can say anything else to redeem her awkward self, Beca is dropping her bag to the floor, crossing the living room, and throwing herself on the couch next to the youngest Bella. The she’s falling sideways until her head is in Emily’s lap and all she can do is hold back her confused and flustered spluttering.

“Where’d they go out again? There was too much going on in the group chat for me to bother reading.”

“U-uhh. I-I think the club off of I-90?” Emily says, trying and failing to catch her stutter.

“What? It’s a Thursday night, for Christ’s sake.”

“It was Chloe’s idea.”

“Oh.”

Emily hadn’t meant it as anything significant, but Beca’s response makes it sound like she told her something hurtful. Suddenly forgetting the close proximity of Beca’s head, Emily sits up slightly and peers down into her beloved senior’s face.

“Is everything okay?” She asks, though everything is clearly not okay.

“Yeah. Fine. Great, really,” Beca replies sharply, her sarcasm only slightly damped by the tired sigh that follows.

And Emily feels it, that tingling sense that’s telling her to drop the subject, leave it at that, maybe ask the senior if she can get her some hot chocolate or coffee (coffee always seems to cure her moodiness) and maybe turn on the TV so they can each forget about their respective crappy days.

But for the first time ever, Emily ignores it and presses on with the burning question.

“Does it have to do with Chloe?”

Beca has no immediate reaction. Emily can’t even tell if she’s right or wrong. “Right. Totally not my business. Sorry.”

“It’s cool,” Beca says. And she sounds like she means it. “You’re probably the only one of the Bellas who never asked.”

“I just…never wanted to cross a line or something.”

Beca sighs and closes her eyes, and Emily suddenly remembers their uncharacteristically close position.  “We’ve talked about it,” she says slowly, as if choosing her words carefully. She bites her lip and avoids Emily’s steady gaze.

“...and?”

“I don’t know, Legacy,” she says with another sigh.

“Nothing came out of that conversation?”

“Nothing… solid. No.”

The voice in her head is practically screaming at her by this point, but Emily pushes a little bit more. “By nothing solid, you mean…?”

Beca slowly opens her eyes and steadily meets Emily’s. “Our timing sucked balls.”

“Oh.”

“She was with Tom throughout my freshman year, then I was with Jesse until the end of junior year, then we were both single but too chicken to do anything, then I… well.” She counts everything off on her fingers and trails off uncertainly. “Anyway, we just… suck at this. _Emotions_ , I guess. Well,  _I_  suck at it, she doesn’t. It just never worked out between us, mostly because I was too much of an idiot to get my head out of my ass.”

“You’re not an idiot,” Emily blurts out. She feels herself turning pink, and as usual, her hands reach out to fidget with something to calm her down. For some ungodly reason, her hands find Beca’s hair and start to play with it. “You’re amazing, and kind, and… and care a lot about the Bellas, and loveable, and super talented, and super pr — ” Emily catches herself before she finishes the word, but the damage is done.

“Super pr…? Pr- _what_ , Legacy?” Beca asks, a teasing smirk playing at her lips.

“N-nothing. Never mind.” Emily let out the most revealing nervous laugh. “Forget I said anything, forget I asked.”

Beca’s looking up at her with a piercing gaze, and Emily tries for a smile that she’s too flustered to make it look even remotely real. The senior slowly sits up and faces her. “When I broke up with Jesse… me and Chloe both thought, _maybe this is it. Maybe now, finally, we can try us out for a change._  But it wasn’t the time. I needed some time after the break up, and… well. I took too long. I… uh. Met someone new. Someone who completely changed my perspective and dumped everything over on its head.”

Emily feels her heart sinking, even lower than where it had been with all of the Chloe-related doubt weighing it down.  _Wow, if someone managed to catch Beca’s heart over Chloe of all people, I don’t even come close to standing a chance._  But she has to keep it together. Beca’s finally opening up to her, and she can’t let her stupid crush get in the way of helping out the senior in any way her little inexperienced freshman heart can handle.

“Well… uh. Maybe this new person’s worth it, right?” she suggests, not entirely sure if this is what Beca wants to hear. “I mean, if they were able to change your whole perspective on relationships after having feelings towards Chloe for over three years, I think that person really means a lot to you.”

“Yeah? You think so?”

“Yeah.”

“But Chloe’s still… well, interested,” Beca says awkwardly. “I could just, like, you know. Give in and let myself love her back. Like I’ve wanted to for so, so long.”

Emily shrugs one shoulder. “What matters most is what you want, Beca.”

Something sparks between them, a kind of unseen energy that Emily can’t put a finger on. Beca is looking at her with more emotion than she’d ever seen on the senior’s face — on anyone’s face, honestly — and she doesn’t know what to say or how to react. It seems like hours have passed before Beca speaks again.

“And what do you want, Em?”

It hits Emily like a lightning bolt. Her soft tone. Her piercing eyes. The way she says Emily’s name like it’s a delicate and gentle creature that needs care and protection. The gentle and encouraging smile she wears whenever the freshman is around.

And she doesn’t even fully understand what it all means, but Emily just goes with it and says the first word that comes to mind. She’s terrified inside, but her voice comes out steady and sure. “Y-you.”

Beca draws in a sharp breath.

“You,” Emily repeats. “I want you, Bec — mmph!”

Her words are cut off abruptly when Beca leans in without warning and presses their lips together. She more or less pushes the taller girl back until she’s leaning against the armrest, and Emily smiles into the kiss as she practically pulls the tiny girl on top of her.

Beca is the first to pull away, and she stares down at Emily with a soft smile, her cheeks red and eyes a little glazed. “Holy shitballs, Legacy,” she says in a near-whisper.

“Uh. I think that’s my line.”

“Yeah… yeah. Definitely changed my whole perspective.”

Emily feels herself blush even deeper at Beca’s certain tone. “Y-you...but. Chloe. Is amazing. Perfect, even. Totally not like me.”

“Well, maybe not,” Beca agrees, but not unkindly. “Maybe you’re not perfect, but that’s why… I… maybe sort of fell for you.”

Even though her heart is probably going to explode, Emily beams up at Beca and ignores her sixth sense for what she hopes is the last time. “Well, that’s definitely not why I fell for you.”

And the words sound ridiculous and overly cheesy and she’s sure Beca hates her for sure now, but the senior just chuckles and presses another kiss to Emily’s lips. “You’re such a dork, Em.”

**Author's Note:**

> title song: Walking the Wire - Imagine Dragons
> 
> send me prompts that I may or may not answer: http://moxiemorton.tumblr.com/


End file.
